i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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