They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
A bitchslap is in order.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
