chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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