lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He's a Shit stain on my heart
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
