So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
