Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
