I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
