Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
