I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
