tell your sister to shave her snatch
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
