Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
