im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
