return my video game
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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