I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
