Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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