I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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