You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
