kristin has been a bad kristin
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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