Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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