You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize