i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
