can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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