i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
