I think I won the penis lottery.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize