Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
