What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
