go do what you do best...puke behind churches
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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