you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Randomize
