Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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