My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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