Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
