so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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