the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We have started to decorate penises.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize