I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
