Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
