I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I love you.
Bad choice
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