Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
