: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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