If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Duck Duck Cougar?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
