You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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