he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
