whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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