she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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