Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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