You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
