My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
