My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize