wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
