I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
