Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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