i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
