i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
