I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
