you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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