Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
