It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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