you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
