call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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