maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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